Ahh, the saddest part of one's possible life, a heartbreak. If evolution has taught us anything, then it's that heartbreak is inevitable. People fail, crumble, hit the bottom of the pit, and then try to crawl back out. Some make it out and become Bane and Batman, while others live until they die. The rigorous process of keeping yourself intact is so tough that people more often seek therapy just so that they can live to see the sun one day. The internet is filled with the topic of heartbreak and how one can get out of it. Numerous books, articles, and theses have been done on this subject, and I intend to give you the best of it. So I deep dive and read the internet's best 25 articles on this subject so that you don't have to go through it. And I am presenting you the best of the advice that you will find, which would actually help you go through it and make sure that you come out victorious. Let's dive!
Here are the best of the Advices that you need to get through this tough phase of your life:
1. Accept Your Feelings Without Judgment
Heartbreak hurts there's no denying it. But one of the most egregious things people do is try to battle their emotions, just let go. You may feel like you're supposed to "stay strong" or "get over it fast," but guess what? That makes it worse. Experts say that heartbreak is a type of grief, and grief does not come with a schedule. You'll experience sadness, anger, confusion, and perhaps relief all at once. That's normal! Don't push these feelings away; let them in.
One helpful trick is to recognize them without judgment. Tell yourself, "It's okay to feel this way. I just lost something valuable, and my feelings are justified." That small change of attitude can expedite healing. Mindfulness exercises such as journaling or simply sitting with your feelings for a few minutes a day can assist you in working through what's going on. It's like riding a wave the emotions come, they crest, and then they go. You don't have to push anything, just let it ride.
So, don't berate yourself for being heartbroken. You are human, and heartbreak is evidence that you cared very much. Honoring your feelings is the initial step towards progress with less resistance.
Book Recommendation: Rising Strong by Brené Brown – A powerful book about embracing vulnerability, processing emotions, and finding the courage to rise after a fall.
2. Give Yourself Permission to Grieve
Many believe that they must "hold it together" following a breakup, but come on, that's just suppressing everything for an even bigger meltdown down the road. Heartbreak is a loss, and with any loss, there's going to be some grieving involved. If you attempt to pretend you're okay, you're just postponing the healing.
Experts say that crying, venting, or even just acknowledging to yourself that you're having a tough time can be incredibly liberating. Consider this, If your best friend was breaking up with someone, you wouldn't say to them "get over it." You'd say to them to take their time, to feel their feelings, and to heal at their own rate. So why not be kind to yourself in the same way?
One useful strategy is to take time for your grief rather than allowing it to dominate your entire day. Perhaps allow yourself 20 minutes to cry, journal, or call a friend. Then, change gears and do something that makes you feel good such as watching a comedy show or taking a walk.
You don't have to "move on" overnight. Mourn in your own manner, and believe that eventually it will hurt less.
3. Cut Off Contact with Your Ex for Healing
Let's get real—being in contact with your ex immediately following a split is like poking at an open wound. It's not going to heal if you continue to prod it. Most professionals concur that being "no contact" (at least temporarily) is one of the best methods for actually moving on.
It's easy to continue monitoring their social media, texting them "just to check in," or waiting for them to call. But each time you interact, you're opening up that emotional connection again. Science even supports this—seeing your ex can release the same withdrawal symptoms in your brain as quitting an addiction. Your brain is addicted to them, but giving in only makes it more difficult.
If severing contact entirely is impossible, attempt small steps. Unfollow them on social media, block their messages, or instruct a friend to cease informing you about their life. You do not need to be cruel, merely protective of your own peace.
It might feel harsh at first, but giving yourself space is a form of self-respect. Once the emotional fog clears, you’ll thank yourself for it. Remember, distance isn’t about being mean—it’s about giving your heart the room it needs to heal properly.
Book Recommendation: Getting Past Your Breakup by Susan J. Elliott – A practical, no-nonsense approach to breaking emotional ties and truly moving forward after a relationship ends.
4. Surround Yourself with a Support System
Heartbreak may leave you feeling like you're doing it on your own, but that's not really the case. You have people who care about you—friends, family, even coworkers who'd be more than willing to listen. The last thing you can do is withdraw. Research has proven that social support aids in faster recovery from emotional hurt, and let's just face it, it feels nice to have someone tell you that you're not quite as alone as you feel.
Now, I understand—when you hurt, interacting with people may seem draining. That's alright. You don't need to be in "social butterfly" mode. Even something as minimal as texting a friend, getting coffee with someone you can trust, or phoning a sibling can be of huge help. The trick is to open up to people.
And if you find your regular circle isn't cutting it, think about getting a support group or even seeing a therapist. There are plenty of online breakup support communities where everyone has their story. You'd be amazed how cathartic it is to find other people going through the same.
Book Recommendation: The Wisdom of a Broken Heart by Susan Piver. It’s an honest and comforting guide to navigating heartbreak without feeling totally lost.
5. Engage in Physical Activity to Reduce Stress
I know what you're thinking—"Ugh, exercise? Now?" But listen. Getting your body moving, even just a little bit, can actually help you feel better. Science indicates that exercise releases endorphins (your brain's natural mood-boosters) and reduces stress levels. When you're heartbroken, your body is soaked with stress chemicals like cortisol, which makes you feel even more miserable. Exercise is one of the most effective ways to counteract that.
Now, this is not to say that you have to go to the gym and lift weights like The Rock (if you really want to). Just do something that will get you out and about. A walk round your neighborhood, a yoga routine, or even dancing around your room like no one's watching—it all adds up.
The intention isn't to "get fit" or distract yourself but to provide your body with an outlet to let go of some of the emotional baggage you're carrying. And movement can be meditative. A peaceful jog or stretching routine can provide your mind with a reprieve from the overthinking cycle. So even if you don't want to, make an effort to move a little. Your future self will appreciate it.
Book Recommendation: Move the Body, Heal the Mind by Jennifer Heisz. It’s all about how physical activity helps with emotional healing.
6. Practice Self-Care and Prioritize Your Well-being
Heartbreak can cause you to forget how to take care of yourself. One day, you're skipping meals, showering less, and staying up much too late mindlessly scrolling through old pictures. But the thing is—self-care isn't bubble baths and face masks (although those are lovely too). It's taking care of yourself even when you don't feel like it.
Begin with the fundamentals: consume healthy food, hydrate with water, sleep well, and maintain small everyday habits. Even something as trivial as making your bed or washing your face can provide you with a small sense of control when everything else in your life is out of order.
In addition to the fundamentals, self-care also involves indulging in activities that make you happy. Watch your go-to comfort film, step outside for a breath of fresh air, or listen to music that puts you in a good mood. When you feel overwhelmed, try writing things down in a journal—it helps to get your feelings on paper rather than having them revolving in your mind.
At the end of the day, self-care is not about making yourself happy. It's about keeping in mind that you are important, even when your heart aches.
Book Recommendation: Radical Self-Love by Gala Darling. It’s all about embracing yourself fully, even in the middle of emotional pain.
7. Limit Social Media Exposure to Avoid Triggers
Let's be real—social media makes heartbreak 10 times worse. One minute, you're scrolling aimlessly, and the next, you come across a post that slaps you in the face. Perhaps it's a photo of your ex smiling, or a memory that Facebook brutally reminded you of. Either way, it hurts.
That's why professionals recommend taking a small break from social media, at least initially. Unfollowing (or muting) your ex isn't petty—it's guarding your peace. The less you see, the less you're tempted to spiral. And if the thought of deactivating your accounts feels too drastic, try cutting back on your time online.
Rather than doom-scrolling, spend that time doing something that actually improves your mood. Read a book, take a walk, or call a friend. Sounds easy, but the more you concentrate on your life rather than your ex's, the quicker you'll begin to heal.
Book Recommendation: Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport. It helps you take control of your online habits so social media doesn’t control your emotions.
8. Find Healthy Distractions and New Hobbies
When heartbreak strikes, it is easy to get stuck on the hurt, but getting healthy distractions and learning new hobbies is an excellent way to divert your attention. Immerse yourself in activities you enjoy or learn things you've always wanted to know—whether it's painting, cooking, gardening, or even a new language. These distractions aren't about not feeling your emotions at all; they're about resting your brain and allowing you to find aspects of yourself that may have been repressed while you were in the relationship. By spending time engaging in something creative or interesting, you're also creating new habits that can restore joy into your daily life. It could be something as easy as reading a novel, becoming a member of a local club, or even learning a sport. The trick is to find activities that genuinely spark your interest and make you feel alive. These hobbies eventually become a reminder that life is replete with rich possibilities even after loss.
Book Recommendation: Check out The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron for a step-by-step guide to unlocking your creativity and discovering fulfilling new passions.
9. Use Mindfulness Techniques Like Meditation & Journaling
Mindfulness is about remaining in the moment, and that's particularly helpful when your brain gets stuck in a cycle of suffering memories and what-ifs. Begin small by taking a few minutes a day to meditate. Even just sitting still and paying attention to your breath can make you feel more centered. Journaling is also a great resource—writing down your thoughts allows you to sort through your feelings without criticism. As time goes by, you may become aware of patterns in your thinking that are not helpful, and that is the beginning of changing them. When you write, attempt to put your feelings on paper honestly and then release them on the page. There is no need for flawless prose; simply let your heart speak. These exercises are a reboot button for your mind, gradually learning you how to watch your thoughts instead of being flooded by them.
10. Focus on Personal Growth and Setting New Goals
Following a heartbreak, it's natural to feel lost or uncertain about what you should do next. Personal growth involves taking time to discover what makes you happy and creating new, exciting goals for your future. Begin by considering what you want to do, whether it's career-related, learning something new, or enhancing your health. Divide your goals into small, manageable steps and mark each tiny victory along the way. This does not only strengthen your confidence but also moves your attention away from the past and towards a better future. Personal growth is about rediscovering yourself—learning what you truly value, what brings you joy, and what dreams you may have put on the backburner. Take the road of self-discovery by holding every day close to your heart as a potential day to gain something new from yourself. Be amazed at how these little differences make a large impact, finally resulting in a more complete and colorful life.
11. Reframe Negative Thoughts and Challenge Self-Blame
It's all too common to get caught up in self-blame following a breakup. You may be beating yourself up about everything that failed, dwelling even more on the hurt. Instead, attempt to shift those thoughts. When you catch yourself saying, "I'm not good enough," stop and replace it with a gentler, more realistic point of view. Acknowledge that relationships are multifaceted and that all experiences, even the difficult ones, provide you with a valuable lesson. Tell yourself it takes bravery to open your heart, and vulnerability is a virtue, not a flaw. Experiment with positive affirmations and concentration on your positive qualities rather than dwelling on error. This exercise isn't about denial of pain, but learning to gradually transform your inner monologue to one of support. These little changes in thought over time can contribute to a much healthier frame of mind. Keep in mind, your worth isn't based on one relationship or experience of suffering it's constructed on the special things you bring to the world.
Book Recommendation: Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David D. Burns is a fantastic resource for learning how to overcome negative thoughts and build a more positive inner voice.
12. Acknowledge the Lessons Learned from the Relationship
Each relationship, regardless of how ill the breakup was, is a valuable lesson. It may not seem that way initially, but after the dust has settled, you will begin noticing the lessons in the heartache. Perhaps you figured out what you really require in a partner, or you learned some red flags you neglected to spot. Instead of seeing the breakup as a failure, try viewing it as a stepping stone toward something better. Ask yourself: What did this experience teach me about love, boundaries, and self-worth? Reflecting on these lessons helps prevent the same patterns from repeating in future relationships. The key here is to shift your perspective your past doesn’t define you, but it can guide you. Remember, growth doesn’t happen without a little discomfort, and sometimes heartbreak is just a painful yet necessary push toward becoming the person you’re meant to be.
Book Recommendation: The Gift of Forgiveness by Katherine Schwarzenegger Pratt explores powerful real-life stories of people who found healing through self-reflection and acceptance.
13. Don’t Rush into a Rebound Relationship
When your heart is hurting, jumping into another relationship might seem like the perfect distraction. After all, what better way to move on than to prove to yourself (and maybe even your ex) that you’re still desirable, right? But here’s the thing—rebound relationships rarely lead to real healing. Instead, they often become a way to avoid dealing with your emotions, which only delays the pain. Allow yourself time to thoroughly work through your emotions and re-attach to yourself before you bring someone else into the mix. Healing isn't about replacing the emptiness with someone; it's about finding a way to be alright alone first. When and if you do begin dating again, make it because you're really ready—not because you're seeking to flee the loneliness. Have faith that the correct relationship will appear at the right moment, and meanwhile, work towards being your best self.
14. Be Patient with Yourself—Healing Takes Time
If only there was a fast-forward button on heartbreak, huh? Sadly, healing is not that easy. Some days will be better than others, and that is totally okay. The worst thing you can do is try to rush it or compare your path to someone else's. Perhaps your ex rebounded quickly, or your friend recovered from their breakup in a matter of weeks. But that does not mean anything is your fault if you're still hurting. Healing is not linear—it's in waves, and sometimes the pain may surprise you. When it does, remind yourself that it is okay to still be hurting. Rather than asking yourself, "Why am I not over this yet? "try saying, 'I'm healing at my own pace, and that's okay.' You don't have to have it all sorted out at the moment. Just take it one day at a time.
Book Recommendation: The Mountain Is You by Brianna Wiest is a powerful read about personal growth, healing, and learning to trust your own timing.
15. Seek Professional Help if Needed
At other times, heartbreak is not only emotional distress but can actually hurt your mental well-being. If you're experiencing depression, anxiety, or are stuck in a rut of sadness that won't pass, then getting professional help is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Therapy isn't reserved for individuals working through severe circumstances; it's a resource for anyone looking for help to get through challenging feelings. Your therapist can work with you to process your emotions, shatter unhealthy thought patterns, and form more positive ways of coping. And if therapy is too daunting, even confiding in a trusted mentor or support group can help. Reaching out isn't weakness—it's strength. You are entitled to support, and there is no shame in asking for it.
Book Recommendation: Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb is an insightful, heartfelt look at therapy from both the therapist’s and the patient’s perspective, showing how powerful professional help can be.
Conclusion
Heartbreak is tough and there’s no way around it. But no matter how painful it feels right now, healing is possible. By accepting your emotions, prioritizing yourself, and giving yourself sometime to grow, you’ll come out stronger on the other side. Remember, healing isn’t a race, and there’s no “right” way to move on. Some days will be harder than others, but every small step forward counts. Most importantly, be kind to yourself. This pain won’t last forever, and one day, you’ll look back and realize that this chapter helped shape a wiser, stronger, and more resilient version of you.
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